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Sunday, August 27, 2006

The Emmy Award Fashion Watch

Katherine Heigl must have either burst a breast or either that- those waterballoons the stars use to prop up their cleaveage sprung a leak in the heat. When Ryan Seacrest was interviewing her I couldn't help but notice that her right breast looked funky. Part of it was falling down. She was absolutely gorgeous and her dress was amazing, but the breast was an issue that was unavoidable since her breasts are on the level of Seacrest's eyes.
Later I saw a noticeable wet spot beneath it as she made her way along the carpet. It was a shame to mar such an outfit, it reminded me of the story my mom used to tell us about stuffing our bras. I came home after school one day when I was in 5th grade. I had "borrowed" my sister's bra and stuffed it with socks. My girlfriends were all very developed, and I of course never even saw breast tissue until I was 17. Well, turns out my teacher (I hated my teacher that year) called my mother to tell her that I had developed unusually fast between breakfast and lunch time in school and that my breasts were extremely crooked.

My mom shared her own embarrasing moment of her life: when she was 14 her "falsies" floated out of her bathing suit in the pool at her cousin's house and were wrapped around her neck. The moral of the story is, girls, if you don't have em, don't fake em, it never works out. These days, in the time of exploding, leaking, and deflating saline and silicone breasts, it is important to listen to your mother's wisdom.

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