Last night we were at a talent show that my daughter and her friends were in. It was a benefit and I was working the ticket window. One of her sixteen-year-old friends, Steve, came up to the window during the intermission and explained that the event was really quite sinister. I immediately thought he was referring to the People's Choice awards, where people put money in the bucket of the performer that they liked the best. The one who raises the most money gets a special Angel award. When I started to explain the program to him, he interrupted me, "No No, it is not that."
I did not know what he meant and replied, "No Steve, it is really just a fundraiser."
"Unngh, Unngh," he continued, "You just don't know what is going on in there."
"I don't know what you mean."
"It is the war of the old Grandparents," Mrs. __________.
"Explain Steve," I dared.
"There are all these old grandparents in there going, "Did you see my Johnny, wasn't he wonderful, did you see my Mary, she was better tonight than most of them." He put up his hands and warned, " You better watch out, they are going to start attacking each other with their walkers. This isn't a talent show, it is a Grandparents Grudge Match." Watch out for your mother-in-law, she might get attacked."
I was astonished, but laughing my butt off, because he wasn't entirely off the mark. Everyone in the ticket booth was laughing too as we looked around at the grandparents talking to each other about the performance so far.
All the people in the show, adults and kids, thought that they had just that little bit of something that made them special enough to go head to head with each other. It is not exactly a reach to think that their families also think they have a little bit of something that makes them special, but Grandparents do have that extra pride gene, you know. I overheard one saying that her grandson looked exactly like her son when he played the piano, it was like watching him all over again, and "Everybody remembers how good HE was." Guess Steve pegged it right. Trust a sixteen year old to cut through to the heart of the situation.