Teacher says, "Were going to be ahead of the game."
First grader whispers to himself, "What game?"
Things I never thought I would hear myself say:
Teacher: Keep your teeth to yourself, please."
"Let go, he is going to need his head."
Teacher asked first grade class what it meant to get up on the wrong side of the bed, she was going over idiomatic expressions. One first grade student replied,"I can't get up on the wrong side of the bed, I sleep in the corner."
Teacher asked during health lesson, " What happens when you don't eat your lunch?"
One student replied, "You won't have to go to the bathroom and waste it."
Teacher asked during review of emotions, "How do you feel about someone who messes with your things? Have you ever felt angry? How did you handle it?"
The first -grader nodded," When my sister was zero years old and I made nice and I didn't hit her in the face."
"Have you ever heard of a fuse?" The teacher asked the class.
"I'm confused!" yelled out a little boy.
Today a first grader sitting next to me ate his booger. He didn't just eat his booger, he dug it out of his nose, ignored my protests to get a tissue, dangled it like a juicy gummy worm above his mouth, and sucked it off his finger. I made him go spit it out and he just did the same thing over and over all afternoon. Don't kids run out of boogies eventually? Meanwhile, another student picked his nose so badly, he had a nosebleed that just wouldn't stop.
Funny things you never thought students would do:
You know how teachers used to tie students to chairs, I think that happened to my sister in catholic school when she was 6. Anyway, it is probably every teacher's dream to tie down that hyper student just once to see if they can sit still. Today a student was tied to a chair, but this was self-inflicted tying. He took his sweatpants' waistband and tied it so tight around the back of the chair, that we couldn't get it off for ten minutes. We considered cutting it off, but then his pants would have fallen down. I finally took my knitting needle to it and he was released. We discussed how dangerous it was. Imagine a fire drill and us having to drag student and chair out the door...
The first grade class was predicting which team would win the Superbowl in 2009. One students wanted to know which team beat the Philadelphia Eagles, when he found out it was the Cardinals, he chose the Pittsburgh Steelers because he was mad at the "...Mean birds that beat the Eagles."
Teacher said, "Write the spelling words without looking at the board." Two First-grade students closed their eyes and wrote the spelling words.
My son said yesterday, " Stop raining on my thunder."
Awful things you never thought students would do:
Middle school boy takes photos of little kids going to the bathroom.
Middle School girl takes photos of self in underwear on her bed and posts them on myspace.com
Middle school student piercesa nother student's tongue at lunch (blood everywhere)
A 7th grader throws out a perfectly good 7th grade friend, like in the actual garbage , films it and posts it on youtube.